I managed to drag myself away from Ragnarok Online in order to update my sites (Chronomantique is in dire need of some content, and Triple Triadneeds to go into alpha testing soon). However, no matter how hard I try to make something artistic, it turns out being shit. I don't mean to sound like an angst whore, but this is really pissing me off. It's not that I have no imagination whatsoever, because I have lots of that. Strangely enough, it applies more to animation than to just a static design. I should probably try Flash, but I guess I've been too scared to, what with all the super l33t flash designers out there.

I just don't want to be labled as talentless. I know I've got something special somewhere...just can't seem to find it. =/ I wanna have a style of my own. Sure, I could mimic Shadowness or something, or I could even rip someone just so people could compliment me...but that ain't what this is about. I wouldn't be satisfied with any of that. Yeah yeah, I'm a goodie-goodie...sue me. I want to be able to show people what's in my mind. The problem is that I have no idea how the hell I'm supposed to go about doing that. Everything I've tried so far doesn't seem to do it justice. Or maybe I'm not giving myself enough time...I'll admit I'm a rather impatient bitch...towards myself, anyway.

Most of my thoughts tend to revolve around sci-fi/fantasy stuff. Some of them are rather dark, but they still have a sense of beauty. My thoughts and inspirations tell a story, but I can't communicate it to anyone. =/ Sounds complicated, huh?

I'm really near giving this whole thing up. But maybe I'm just expecting too much from myself. I don't know...I guess I'll think of a way to get through this, eventually.